the end of 2008 and the new year 2009 sucks, in fact, its the worst part of my life. new found friends are an exception though. thank y'all.
lost my ezlink card, lost my ic, spoiled my phone, sim card not working, phone lost, house keys lost, got border line marks for Ns, science and humanities couldnt get into my head, dad not giving us our alimony, mum not striking her 4D unlike last time(hahaha joke joke) and 'lost' something that a person like me wouldnt have done it.
i feel so useless.. im not used to losing my things this easily but i dont know whats coming to me now. very very careless, and i cant study properly, nothing gets into my head. im so stressed by all these things, yet my mum have to add more problems to my life. if im dead right now, i dont know how can she survive. fucking cunt. i want to be a nice girl who doesnt swear, get great results, have friends and parents who understand me. i dont know.. it seems like jumping down from my house can solve problems that my loved ones have. they just havta cry 1 or 2 days and then they'll feel so much better. mum dont have to worry about spending money on me or my school fees, dad can give mum half of the alimony he usually give us, teacher wont have such a talkative girl making trouble in school.
i feel really really useless, its like i've got no talent for anything, i cant study, i cant work, i cant create miracles, i cant change things the way i wanted. there's no time. i want to be jesus, i want to change lives, i want to make people around me happy..
if only my mum knows what i really wanted, and understand what i was really thinking...
i want all of you to know that i really love yous. i dont know how to be mushy mushy in words, i think its so disgusting. action speaks louder than words, thats what i've always been doing, that is why i do not know how to express my feelings in words that well
and cannot make my blog so interesting. i hope you guys know that i really really wna help each and everyone of you when you guys need me, anyone. ciaocheebye.
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